Our fragile little world
by KokoroHana
Summary: It has been five days since Yuu turned back into human but he has to find out that not everyone did fine in the last past three months...
1. Chapter 1

"Mika."

Yuu said calmly in a commanding voice, lying on the ground in front of his bed.

"Get. Down. From. Me."

"…"

"I'm serious about it. Get. Down."

He commanded again, holding one hand around Mika's throat, feeling his heart racing through the palm of his hand, in order to prevent him from coming any closer to him, while Mika laid on top of him, looking down on him with eyes that didn't seem his own.

"Mika."

"Blood…I…want…blood…"

He said, panting heavily.

"…"

 _Dammit. He can't hear me in this state and he doesn't even seem to recognize me…Just like back then…_

"Give…me…your…blood…"

"…"

… _I can't…get him down from me. Damn vampire strength…If I don't come up with something soon to bring him to his senses he'll-_

"Let…me…drink…your…blood…"

Mika said while slowly drawing nearer even though Yuu was still holding him around his throat.

 _Dammit…_

"I…want…blood…"

"Stop. It."

"Blood…"

"Mika. Wake up…already."

"Give…it…to…me…"

He managed to bring his face to Yuu's neck until he was only inches apart from it and was about to sank his fangs into it.

"MIKA! SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY FOR GODS FUCKING SAKE!"

Mika flinched by his sudden yelling. Slowly he pulled back again, looking at him in confusion with these bright eyes Yuu knew so well.

"…Yuu…Chan?"

He asked in disbelief.

"…What-"

Before he could finish his sentence Yuu pushed him away, resulting in Mika falling backwards. As soon as he was down from him, Yuu sat up, looking at him angrily.

"For gods fucking sake, Mika!"

He yelled at him while he was about to sit up as well.

"Huh?"

"Don't "huh?" me! I thought we talked about that!"

"…"

 _What's with him all of a sudden? Why…is he so angry?_

 _And…What did…actually happen? I…went into the shed to talk to him…but…I can't remember what happened afterwards. The first thing I can remember again is…that I heard him yelling at me while I was laying on top of him and…Don't tell me I…_

He looked at him with a shocked expression before he backed away, terrified by what he had almost done.

"Mika!"

Yuu called out, surprised by his sudden reaction. He tried to draw nearer to him but was stopped by Mika's yelling:

"DON'T COME NEAR ME!"

This time it was Yuu who flinched by his loud voice. Mika was panting heavily, noticing how dry his throat felt all of a sudden. He looked at Yuu's surprised expression before he ashamedly looked to the side.

"…I-I'm sorry…Didn't want to yell…"

"…Mika…"

Yuu could see that he was in pain. He had the feeling that it was even worse than back then in Nagoya. Slowly he approached him again.

"…Please…stay away from me…"

Mika begged, noticing that he was drawing nearer from the corner of his eye.

"…"

"I…I don't want to hurt you, so please-"

"Mika."

He looked at him again as he heard his name, seeing that he was right in front of him at that moment.

"I'm not afraid of you."

Yuu said looking into his eyes.

"I will never be afraid of you."

"…"

"I know that you would never hurt me."

"…I almost did…"

"But you came back to your senses in time, right? So there's nothing you have to feel guilty about."

He said, smiling at him and still looking into his eyes until Mika broke the gaze without replying.

"…Since when?"

Yuu asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

He gave him an irritated look, not knowing what he meant with that question.

"Since when do you need blood?"

"…"

"It was way more difficult to bring you to your senses than last time, so since when?"

Mika averted his gaze nervously, knowing that he would get angry if he would tell him the truth.

"Mika."

He said in a more commanding voice than before.

"Since when?"

He knew he couldn't avoid answering this question.

"…Since…coming here…"

He admitted quietly.

"Are you kidding me?! You didn't drink blood for three whole fucking months?!"

He asked angrily.

Mika hesitantly nodded not wanting to make him even angrier by not answering at all.

"Dammit, Mika! I told you if you need blood you just have to ask, didn't I?! Why didn't you say anything all this time?!"

"…Sorry…"

He said quietly, still not looking at him. Yuu could see that he really was sorry about that. He sighed, realizing that yelling won't change anything that happened.

"No, I'm Sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. But seriously…don't make me worry like that."

"…"

"Listen. I know I…wasn't myself for the past three months and that you hate my friends but…you really could've asked one of them, you know?"

"…"

"You promised me you won't try to die again, remember?"

"…Didn't intend to die…"

He said quietly.

"Then do everything to stay alive. Even if it means to drink blood."

"…"

"Why are you always so stubborn about that? I don't get it. What's the big deal about drinking a little bit of blood?"

"…I just don't want to, okay?"

"A vampire who was attacking me only minutes ago, begging me to give him my blood and now sitting in front of me, visibly on the verge of losing control, says he doesn't want to drink blood…Yeah, that sounds convincing."

Yuu said sarcastically.

"I'm serious about that."

Mika replied looking at him again.

"I don't want to. My whole body is craving for blood but…I don't want it. I…"

He hesitated before whispering:

"…I don't want to become a monster…"

"I said it once and I'll say it until you stop thinking like that: You're. Not. A. Monster."

"I am."

"You're not!"

"Of course I am!"

"No, you're not!"

"Then what am I according to you?!"

"You're my family!"

Mika only looked at him in surprise after he said that.

"…You're my family."

He repeated quietly, after he calmed down a bit.

"I don't care…if you're a vampire…or a human…even if you were a demon. It doesn't matter to me. No matter what you are, you will always be my family. And no matter what you do, you're not a monster to me."

"…"

Before Mika could say anything, Yuu pulled open his shirt collar.

"Drink."

Mika quickly avoided his gaze from him. Yuu sighed once again, knowing it won't be easy to convince him a second time.

"Mika. I already told you, didn't I? I don't mind you drinking my blood. You can have it."

"But-"

"No "but's" this time. I won't argue with you about that as much as I did last time."

"…"

"If you don't want to, then I'll make you. Simple as that."

"…"

"Come on."

"…"

"I know you want to."

"…No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No."

"Trust me, you want to. So, come on."

Mika looked at him again, visibly fed up with his stubbornness.

"If you want me to drink your blood anyway, then why did you stop me earlier?!"

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Yuu gave him a warm smile.

"Because I know you would have felt bad if you had taken it by force, idiot."

Mika looked at him in surprise. He didn't expect that he was thinking of him as he tried to prevent him from drinking his blood.

 _…So…he really wasn't afraid of me, huh?_

He gave a sad smile before he averted his gaze once again.

"Mika, listen to me. I know you hate it."

"…"

"…And I also know that my blood is pure hell for you but…can't you do it for me?"

"…"

"I know it's selfish of me but…I really don't want to lose you again. Not like four years ago."

"…"

"…I don't want that. And if giving my blood to you is the only way to keep you alive, than I gladly give it to you."

"…"

"…You're the only one…I give it to."

He added quietly.

Mika looked at him again as he heard that, seeing the same expression on him as back than in Nagoya where he also wanted him to drink his blood.

"…You're aware that I haven't drank blood for three months, aren't you?"

He asked calmly looking into his eyes.

"Yeah."

"You know that I could easily overdo it, right? If I drink too much you…"

He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

He wasn't stupid. He knew he needed blood, if he liked it or not, otherwise he would die. He didn't want to die and to leave Yuu. And besides he promised him he would live, no matter what.

But he was afraid. Afraid of accidently killing him by drinking too much of his blood.

Mika was aware that he would break his promise to him but he would rather die than having to live without him.

"I'm aware of that. I know you could easily kill me but…"

Yuu smiled at him.

"I trust you, Mika. I know you would never go that far."

"…"

"And even if…I gladly give my life for yours. I would always…give it for you."

"…"

"So, do you want to drink now or not?"

"…You know the answer."

"Yeah, I do."

He said giving a small laugh.

"And I really don't want you to suffer, so…"

Yuu tilted his head to the side, showing him more of his neck.

"…Just take it."

Mika knew he was at the end of his tether. That he probably would lose control again any second…and Yuu wasn't making things easier by tempting him so much.

"…You're terrible, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. But if it means I'm not gonna lose you, then I don't care if I'm terrible."

He said with a big grin on his face.

"…"

"…It hurts, doesn't it? Wanting to drink blood so badly?"

Yuu asked calmly, looking into his eyes.

"…Yeah…"

He replied quietly, breaking the gaze.

"Then...drink my blood."

Mika looked into his eyes for a few seconds before he draw nearer to him and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"…If it hurts or…if you feel dizzy…say it. Then I'll stop."

"Mhm."

He slowly brought his mouth to his neck and was about to sink his fangs into it…but he hesitated.

He was still afraid of hurting him. Afraid of the possibility of killing him.

Even though he wanted to drink blood so badly in that moment he still was able to resist that overwhelming thirst. He rather had pulled back again, ran out of the shed and hid somewhere until his thirst would subside. He was pondering about another way so he won't have to drink his blood…as he suddenly felt how Yuu patted his head.

"It's alright, Mika. Just take what you need. It's yours."

He said quietly, reassuring him that he doesn't have to be afraid of hurting him or to hold back. Feeling him gently patting his head over and over again Mika closed his eyes and sank his fangs into his neck, causing Yuu slightly to flinch at that sharp pain and his hand to stop for a few seconds.

As soon as Yuu relaxed again he slowly started to pat his head again in order to show him that everything's alright.

… _That's already the second time he drinks my blood. It still feels strange but…it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt at all._

 _I also wondered about that the first time… I actually expected that it would hurt like hell…That it would be almost unbearable but…it's totally different…It doesn't hurt nor…does it feel bad…_

… _Actually it…feels pleasant. It feels pleasant to feel…how I'm…little by little…giving him part of my life…_

He closed his eyes, still continuing to pat his head.

… _Somehow I…like this feeling…_


	2. Chapter 2

Mika was careful not to drink too greedy but only to take small sips to quench his thirst.

… _Didn't thought that…I would really do this a second time…I didn't want to do this but…he's always so persistent._

 _Always talking about how he wanted to kill all vampires back then…and now? He's giving his own blood to one…to a monster…_

" _No, You're not!"_

" _Then what am I according to you?!"_

" _You're my family!"_

… _I…never realized how badly I wanted you to call me that all those years…When we were kids…you always refused to…saying you don't have a family…that you don't want one…_

… _You changed so much…_

 _Giving me your blood even though you always complained about them drinking ours…Always saying how much you hate it to be treated like livestock…_

" _I know you hate it…"_

… _I don't. I don't hate it at all. I…like it…I like…this pleasant feeling I have…when I drink your blood…when I take a part of your life…I hate myself for…liking it so much…_

"… _and I also know that the taste of my blood is pure hell for you."_

… _I lied. I lied when I said it's bad tasting. I didn't want you to be afraid of me, that's why I told you that. But the truth is…I…love this taste. The taste of…the very first…human blood I…ever drank…The taste of your blood…I don't want to love it so much…but I do…I'm sorry that I'm…thinking like that…_

… _for thinking like a monster…_

They remained like this for a while before Mika released his fangs from his neck and distanced himself a little from him again.

"…Sorry."

He said averting his gaze with a slight blush on his face.

"You really don't have to apologize for that every time, you know? Like I said, I don't mind."

"…"

"You don't have to feel guilty about that. We're family so…of course I'd do anything for you. And besides, giving you a little bit of my blood is really no big deal."

Yuu said with a smile on his face but Mika didn't answer him nor did he look at him.

 _He's so stubborn when it comes to this. I really don't mind giving him my blood. Even though I wish I wouldn't have to convince him every time._

 _Just why does he torture himself so much? Three whole months…_

 _How did he even stand that? He really could've asked one of the others. I know that they wouldn't had let him die. But he rather tortured himself. I don't get him. I know he hates it…that he hates it when he drinks my blood…_

… _Not…like…me…_

He looked nervously to the side and blushing while he remembered that pleasant feeling he had when he drank his blood.

 _Dammit…I really shouldn't think like that..._

… _I can never tell him that. He probably would starting to think I've gone completely nuts._

 _That only would make things even more awkward…and it probably would make it even more difficult to convince him since I don't think he would ever asked me for that._

 _He will always refuse to drink blood, no matter how often I tell him to ask. He's way too stubborn for his own go-_

His thoughts were interrupted as he noticed that Mika was staring at him.

"…What is it?"

Yuu asked looking at him again.

"…Nothing…"

He said avoiding eye contact.

"You think I would believe that? You know you can't lie to me. I always know when something's bothering you."

"…"

"So, what is it?"

He sasked smiling at him. Mika looked into his eyes for a few seconds before he shyly looked to the side.

"…Can I…hug you?"

It took a moment for Yuu to realize what he just asked.

"…Huh? Why?"

He asked in confusion.

"…S-sorry. It was stupid. Just forget what I-"

"No, no, no. I meant…Why do you even think you have to ask that?"

"…"

"You never asked that before."

"…"

"…I know I always acted like it's annoying me back then but…I didn't mind at all."

"…"

"I would never push you away, you know?"

"…"

"You really don't have to ask for that."

Yuu said giving him a little smile and added quietly:

"…So…go ahead."

Mika gazed into his eyes for a moment before he slowly draw nearer to him and pulled him into a hug, while he closed his eyes, exhaling deeply.

Yuu smiled as he was embraced by him, enjoying that closeness to him.

… _I really don't mind being hugged by him. I never did. I don't understand why he thought he had to ask for permission…Was he afraid that I would reject him? I would never do something like that…If he needs that, then of course I let him hug me…It's not like I…dislike…to be hugged by him…_

Suddenly he noticed that Mika was slightly shaking and quiet sobs could be heard from him.

"…Mika? Are…you crying?"

"…N-no…"

He said between sobs.

"Don't lie to me dumbass…"

"…"

"What's wrong?"

Yuu asked with worry in his voice but didn't get an answer from him. All he could hear were his sobs.

… _Why is he crying all of a sudden? I don't get it…I haven't said anything wrong, have I? Why doesn't he just want to tell me what's wrong? Did something happen in those past three months where I haven't been-_

Suddenly he remembered what happened at the airport of Nagoya.

He remembered Mika's shocked expression after he was stabbed by Guren…and as he desperately tried to take him away from the battlefield and then…nothing.

After he talked with Asuramaru he couldn't recall what happened.

He only knew what Shinoa and the others had told him…but he could imagine that it must have been terrifying for Mika to see him like this.

He also couldn't remember the past three months in which his demon had taken over. The others told him that they had to chain him up otherwise he would have hurt them…and that Mika was the only one who wasn't too afraid to visit him every day…only to be yelled at and being told by him that he wants to kill them all… But he still visited him every day, trying to bring him back to his senses.

"…I'm sorry, Mika. I…made you worry."

"…"

"I know…I shouldn't have done that…That you…must have been afraid…I'm sorry."

"…"

"…You…can hit me for that if you want. I really deserve it.

…But please not so hard. I don't want to be unconscious again for the next few weeks, okay?"

Mika chuckled after hearing these words even though he was still crying.

"…Welcome home, Yuu-Chan…"

He managed to say with a smile between sobs.

"…Yeah…I'm glad to be back…"

They didn't say anything further to each other until Yuu couldn't hear any sobs from him anymore and he stopped shaking. Slowly, Mika pulled back again.

"…Sorry."

He began while wiping some remaining tears away with the back of his hand.

"…for being such a cry baby…"

"…"

"Even though I'm a vampire…I still can cry like that, huh?"

"…"

"…Actually Vampires shouldn't be able to do something like that..."

"…"

"It's weird how-"

He stopped midway as he noticed that Yuu was staring at him.

"…What?"

"…"

"…Is…something the matter?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

"What is it?"

Without saying anything Yuu slowly wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him close again while leaning against the bed behind him.

He could feel how Mika instantly tensed up the moment he hugged him.

"Y-Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

"What's wrong?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan?"

"…Cold…"

He murmured so quietly Mika could barely hear him.

"Did I drink too much?"

He asked with panic in his voice.

"…No. It's just…this room…is…always so cold…I'm just freezing a little bit…"

"But…I'm not warmer, you know?"

"…"

"…Wouldn't…it be better if you would go to bed?"

"…"

"…If we remain like this you-"

Suddenly Yuu hugged him a little bit tighter and rested his head on his shoulder.

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

"…You'll…catch a cold like this, you know?"

He didn't get an answer from him and it also didn't seem that he wanted to let go of him. Even though it would had been easy for Mika to free himself on his own from his embrace, since he was a vampire and way stronger than him after all, he didn't even try to.

… _Seriously…He should go to bed if he's that cold…Why does he want to stay…like this? I can't give him warmth…Not anymore. But…he doesn't seem to care about that…and I also don't want to reject him since I…_

He felt how his face was getting warmer.

… _like it…_

… _It's the first time he…hugs me…He never…did that before…Not even when we were kids…I was so surprised as…he took me in his arms…but I like…to be hugged by him…like that…to feel his warmth…to be so close to him…_

… _It feels nice…_

Mika exhaled deeply while Yuu could feel how he slowly relaxed in his arms.

… _He's warm…Thought that vampires couldn't feel warm. Didn't notice that before…but in this cold room…_

"… _Wouldn't…it be better if you would go to bed?"_

… _I lied…It isn't so cold that I would freeze._

… _I…just wanted an excuse to…hug him. I don't know why…I suddenly had the urge to but…_

He could feel how his face turned red in that moment.

… _For some reason I…don't want…to let…go anymore…_

… _It's a…nice feeling…to have him so close…to me…Never felt that before…_

… _When I hold him like this…feeling his warmth…hearing his breathing right beside me… I realize…that…he's really alive…_

… _Only now I…realize how…badly I wanted to talk to him again all this time…how badly I wanted to see his smile again…hear his laugh again…having him around me again…how much I…_

"…Mika?"

"Hm?"

"…I've missed you…"

He murmured.

"Huh?"

He was surprised to hear these words from him.

"I've missed you…"

He said once again, hugging him tighter.

"…Yuu-Chan, you're squeezing m-"

"I…wanted to see you again…"

Mika could hear him saying while sobbing, even though Yuu tried to suppress it.

"…"

… _He's…crying…_

"…All those years…All…this time…I…I wanted to apologize to you…"

"You don't have to-"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did back then…for leaving you behind…I'm sorry. Because of me…you had to endure this for so long…I'm sorry, Mika."

"…"

"You did so much for me and I...I just left you behind to die…"

"…"

"I…never told you how…glad I am that I was able to meet you. How grateful I am for…all you've given me until now. How…much I like it to have you around me. How much I…I need you. How much I…want you…in my life. How I…never wanted someone as much as you in my life. That you…"

He sobbed for a few times before he whispered:

"…mean more to me than my own life. More than…anything…in this world…I'm sorry I…I never…told you…that…"

At the last part of the sentence his voice cracked. He couldn't hold back his tears any longer. No amount of words could've described how much he'd missed him and how guilty he felt because he hadn't told him all these things sooner.

Mika didn't know what to say to him after hearing this. He just couldn't believe that he'd blamed himself all those years for something like that.

… _Why…are you apologizing so much? I…never blamed you for anything. It's okay you've left me behind. It was my own choice. In order to save you. I didn't want you to die. I wanted you to see the outside world you wanted to see so badly…I was glad that I've given my life for you. And I would do it again and again._

 _All these things you've said you regretted you never said to me…I never asked you for that. It's okay for me. Just…being beside you…was more than enough for me. Knowing that you cared for me…trusted me…noticed when something was bothering me…I never asked for more._

 _But still…hearing all these things from you…makes me…so incredibly happy that I…could cry._

 _All those years I…was afraid what you…would think of me, now that I became a vampire. If you…would hate me…But…you don't care. You don't care if I'm a vampire. You still treat me like a human, not like a monster._

 _I always hated me for becoming a vampire but…hearing you talking about me like this…saying that I mean more to you than anything else…makes me hating myself less…It makes me want to live…despite of being a vampire. Because of you…because you give me so much…_

… _I'm grateful to you for that…_

"…Yuu-Chan…Thanks…"

"…For what?"

He managed to ask between sobs.

"…For loving me."

A few Seconds passed until he suddenly felt how Yuu hugged him tighter, still resting his head on his shoulder.

… _Of course I do…You…don't have to thank me for that. I know I…never really told you that in person or even showed you properly…but I do. You…were the first one I…ever truly cared about…who I trusted…who I wanted…The very first person I ever…loved…_

"…Mika?"

He heard him saying his name in such a tender way, he never heard from him before.

"Hm?"

"…love you…"

Yuu whispered.

Hearing these words from him, made Mika smile.

"…I know."

He replied quietly.

"You don't have to tell me that."

"…"

"You already showed me so many times."

"…I didn't…"

"Of course you did."

"…"

"You always notice when something's bothering me…and get angry if I don't tell you…because you care about me. You never let me down…no matter what. You don't let me do things you know I would regret later…"

"…"

"You still treat me like I'm human even though I'm a vampire…You…give your blood to me because you don't want me to die…and even though I could easily kill you…you still trust me enough that I won't do it."

"…"

"You're willing…to give your life for me…That's how you showed me. You didn't need to tell me to let me know that…you showed me so often…even now…"

 _Being hugged by you like this…feeling your warmth…hearing your words…being called family…letting me be with you…is more than enough for me to…feel loved by you…_

"I…don't need anything else from you. Just…that…is enough for me."

"…Really?"

"Yeah."

"…You…want nothing…more?"

"No…"

Mika could hear how he started to sob again shortly after.

… _He never cried as much as that before…He always acted so strong when we were kids…but that he also has such a side…_

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"…Hm?"

"…love you, too."

He said quietly.

"…I know…"

 _You…showed it me so often…Since the first day we met. You…were the first one who ever showed me this kind of affection…who saved me…who gave me a home…a family…warmth…everything. I…always…felt loved by you…_

"I know…"

Yuu said once again with a smile, while tears were still streaming down his face.

"…Thank you…"

"You don't have to thank me for that. That goes without saying."

"…"

"We're family after all, Yuu-Chan. Don't forget that."

Mika said in a happy voice. The same voice Yuu knew so well from back then when they were kids.

… _How…long…has it been since I…heard these words…from him…with that voice?_

He hugged him even tighter, not wanting to let go of him. He couldn't feel any resistance from Mika as he did that.

"…Say…if I…hurt you…okay?"

"…It doesn't hurt…You…could never hurt me with anything…"

After saying that, he felt how Yuu still hugged him a little bit tighter before he whispered:

"…Stay…with me…tonight…"

It was the first time he asked for that.

After he had turned back, Mika asked him so many times if he could stay with him at night but he always refused, afraid that his demon would take over again and that he could hurt him.

"Mhm…"

He hummed while slowly closing his eyes.

"…Do you mind…if…I…"

Yuu began hesitantly, but Mika already knew what he wanted to ask.

"…No…Not at all…"

Hearing this, Yuu closed his eyes, still sobbing from time to time until he stopped crying and nothing could be heard from him anymore.

A long time passed without them saying anything to each other. Eventually Mika noticed that Yuu's grip around him lessened a bit.

… _Did he fall asleep? That he can even sleep like this…Isn't that a little bit uncomfortable?_

… _Well, I guess he was pretty much exhausted after giving me his blood…and after crying so much…_

 _Not that I mind…when he holds me like this…in his arms…_

… _No one…ever hugged me this tight before…He…hugs me so tight that I…can even feel his heartbeat…I can feel…how it's pounding against my chest…I can feel it so clearly…as if it was my own…It feels so…calming…to feel that…to…be with him…to be hugged…by him like this…to feel his warmth all around me…I never felt more comfortable in my life before…Not with any other person…and I…never felt so…loved…by someone before…_

… _I…want to stay…like this…forever…and I never…want to leave his side…_

Without him noticing he slowly drifted off to sleep, while a smile appeared on his face as he thought of Yuu's words:

"… _love you…"_


End file.
